Cohousing can restore comfort of community to many Americans
(From the Daily Courier, May 7, 2013)
Jeffrey L. Zucker, LEED-AP AIA
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It was 1992, we had just had our fourth child, and my wife was dying. I went to work every day, because I had to support my family. As I left each morning, there would be four or five cars in the driveway, belonging to a nurse for my wife, a baby sitter for the infant and the three year old, someone to take the older kids to school, and usually a friend, just to be there. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it through those months without the people who showed up. I really don’t remember that time very well at all.
And then she died. And, after the grieving, and the broken hearts, and the many countless kind deeds, the people gradually stopped showing up. The driveway became empty. Life returned, but not to normal.
I wondered. I wondered why it took a personal tragedy to bring all those folks together. And I wondered where they went. Back to their homes? To the other side of town? To the other side of the country? Would it take another dreadful calamity for them to show up again? Where was the community of people that shared the good times, as well as the bad?
This country used to be different. A generation ago, people stayed in the same town where they grew up, their folks still lived in the same house. The corner grocery store was where you went to trade gossip, the church was a place for like minded people to gather. But, for millions of Americans, that reality does not exist anymore. We are a nation on the move. People are constantly uprooted, searching for something different than what they already have; better jobs, nicer weather, safer towns. But, what we leave behind is family, friends, neighbors, history, and a web of support. We find that we must recreate that web wherever we go. We also find that, in an increasingly secular society, the church is no longer the viable hub for as many people as it used to be. The corner grocery store is not a few short blocks away, but all too often requires a trip in an automobile to an anonymous mega-store to buy a simple loaf of bread. And our families or high school chums are on the other side of the continent.
Another significant person in my life passed away a few weeks ago. Paolo Soleri was my mentor for forty years. I studied at his feet in 1973 as a raw recruit, clutching a freshly minted degree in architecture in my hand. My previous work at the Department of Urban Renewal and City Planning in Flint, Michigan had left me with more questions than answers. What I found at Arcosanti was a new way of creating community, a new way to slow down and appreciate life at a pedestrian pace, and new way to weave architecture and ecology with a caring vision for the energy of the people who lived there. Several years later, while still involved with Arcosanti, I felt compelled to translate what I had learned from Paolo Soleri into a “bite sized” piece of community, something that I felt that I could accomplish in my lifetime. More importantly, I wanted to establish something that could provide the “comfort of community” which is so lacking in our modern day society.
I have found that Cohousing is one way to provide that missing piece of community for us. Cohousing is centered around walkable communities where neighbors know each other and share their lives with each other. It is a place for children to interact with elders. It provides a sense of community in a transient society., encouraging us to break bread with our neighbors, to find common ground and to share resources. But, most of all, it establishes a network of neighbors who are there to experience all of the transitions of life together, the good and the bad, the momentous and the mundane. That was why I started to seek out like-minded individuals and families almost twenty years ago, and it is why I am happy to call the Manzanita Village Cohousing Community my home today. Together, we have created a supportive neighborhood of people who care for each other each and every day. Together, we have created the comfort of community.